Thursday, December 10, 2009

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride.

So I've been in this relationship with a great guy for about 6 months now and up until about 2 weeks ago everything was going great. We're in a long distance relationship and I plan to meet him later this year. When we met and I'd asked him if he was dating anyone he honestly answered "Yeah, I'm seein' this girl." Our relationship progressed quickly and we made it official. We both understood the tremendous pressure and strain long distance puts on a relationship but decided to pursue it anyways.

He is romantic, funny, honest, intelligent, caring, family-oriented, god-fearing, and mature. All the things a girl could hope for in a guy.

About 2 weeks ago I went to his Facebook page to send him a friend request and his display picture is of him and another girl. The original picture was him by himself and he'd photo shopped her in below his picture. An obvious girlfriend status banner. I was STUNNED. It felt like my stomach was coming up through my throat. I could hardly breathe. I was so angry and hurt. I'd been deceived. I right-clicked and saved the photo to my P.C. I fought back the tears and gave myself a night to think about the situation. I decided to sleep on it and confront him the next day. I didn't really sleep much that night.

The next day I woke up early and rushed to my computer to see if he was online and he was but his status was set to "Away" I typed a message asking if he was there and he said he was. I asked if he was busy and he said not really. I asked if we could do voice chat and he said yes, as soon as he get finishes with his long distance phone call. I told him to please hurry because I really had something to tell him. I didn't let him know I was upset with him in case he wanted to avoid me.

When he finally finished the call, and we were able to talk I sent him the picture and told him I wanted to talk about it...silence. I told him how I found the picture and to explain himself and who she was. He said something very quickly and all I heard was "girl I been seeing." There was another issue I failed to mention about a comment he left for a girl on youtube and after we cleared up that matter I went back to the girl in the photo. He confessed he was seeing her. How can you be seeing her when you're supposed to be with me? I asked. He said in case he and I didn't work out. He said some things that made me angry at first. He said: don't judge our relationship by what I see on facebook, that he had no intention of returning to the U.K to be with that girl so that I should just let him be him. Then He said he was frustrated because I neglected to let him see me on webcam and he felt like we didn't have a real relationship. I apologized for that because he'd mentioned it before. Now, if he never broke up with this broad in the first place he can't use that as an excuse. Even if he did break up with her and get back with her, that doesn't excuse his behavior.

I'm still with him because I'm going on a little faith and I do believe he loves me and I believe we'll be together. I also believe he's afraid of being by himself...or being left is more like it. I do not condone cheating or being a player or whatever but I've looked at the situation from his perspective. He was in a relationship that was going well except for the fact that he met me. Seeing as how we still hadn't met face to face yet and and he'd fallen in love with me he'd become vulnerable. For all he knows, what's to stop me from leaving him on the drop of a dime? I guess he figured why mess up a relationship that's going well for something that might not be a sure thing. With all that being said I don't think what he did was okay. I'm still a little hurt and though he's promised to end things with the other girl now, I left many things I wanted to say unsaid. We don't get to have our cake and eat it too. I expected him to go into this thing head first as I did. I hope I'm not making a mistake.